Putting something together for the EliteEndurance.com reboot, and I just wanted to note one of the bravest things I’ve seen a racer put out there in a while – Gabby Durin’s post on Team Neon Velo’s site.
If you’re too lazy to click thru, here’s a snippet:
I AM JUST GOING THROUGH A PROCESS LIKE A NUMB ROBOT AND IT HURTS. WHEN I SPOKE TO JEREMY ABOUT HOW I AM FEELING HE ASKED ME HOW I FEEL WHEN I WIN A RACE. FOR EXAMPLE WINNING THE CYCLESMART INTERNATIONAL NORTHAMPTON RACE YOU WOULD THINK THAT I WOULD HAVE A GREAT FEELING; SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS IN WHAT I CONSIDER A HOME TOWN RACE NOW. INSTEAD I JUST FELT RELIEF CROSSING THE LINE. I HAD WON THE RACE AND IT WAS OVER. THE FEELING OF STRESS WAS OVER AND I COULD GO HOME.
And sadly lacking in a world where Brightsiding is stripping the jagged edges from our lives as presented to and seen by others. When everyone is happy and fulfilled, you’re made to feel like a dick if you’re not.
Durrin was as complicit as anyone. (Here’s a typical rah-rah interview.)
She had/has to be.
Telling the truth gets you in trouble in pro cycling. Look what’s happening to Greg Henderson after tweeting that Fabio Aru’s recent illness was doping-related. He forgot to obey the REAL rule #1 of cycling. Omerta. Let the gentle, meaningless palaver that is Phil Ligget wash over you… You are getting sleepy…
Telling the truth costs you sponsors.
Durrin’s honesty is a breath of fresh, unhappy air. And it’s a welcome relief, amidst the Febreze scented bullshit that’s usually served up.
I’ve been following her on Twitter and Instagram (no, that’s not my ankle bracelet going off) and she seems to be having a great time lately, including a fantastic result last weekend at the Paris to Ancaster, a close second behind the legend that is Ellen Van Loy. And smiling like a kid on the podium.
At the risk of turning her year-in-the-trenches into a Hollywood-happy-ending, it seems like things are turning around for her. If that’s true, I’m very glad. But if it’s harder than that, that’s ok, too. We’ve all been there. (And if you haven’t, I need your pharmacist’s address.) I’m just glad she allowed us a glimpse of what it’s like to be a pro with doubts.
From an amateur composed of more doubt than talent, thank you Gabby Durrin.
Follow Team Neon Velo here.